How Pruning Improves Your Quality of Life

Spring is a pretty season in in New England. There are a plethora of perennials and bulbs that push up through the ground, and the fruit trees really put on a show. Imagine pink “snow” falling from the cherry trees! I take these beautiful trees for granted, but they actually require a bit of care. Just before this colorful display emerges, gardeners and arborists are up on ladders, undertaking the pruning process. To thrive, fruit trees need pruning. The same holds true for people: pruning improves your quality of life.

To understand how, let’s further consider the fruit tree analogy. On the one hand, it seems a shame to trim the trees. After all, it seems like the more branches we have, the more fruit they will produce. In reality, failure to prune can put a tree under too much stress, resulting in smaller, less-fulfilling fruit. Branches can also break from the weight of too much fruit. With the goal of maximizing the quality of the fruit, the one who prunes decides what will stay and what will go.

We too need to decide what will stay and what will go. On the one hand, it seems like the more we have, the better our lives will be. However, just as with the fruit trees, having too much can make it hard to enjoy what we have, and sometimes it can overwhelm and “break” us. Many times I have seen clients who have failed to prune, and the toll it takes on their quality of life.

• A child has a room full of toys, but no free space in which to play with them.
• A woman has so many clothes jammed into closets and drawers that she can’t see what she has, and what she does pull out is wrinkled, dusty, or stretched out of shape.
• An exercise room is so full of overflow belongings from the rest of the house that the equipment itself cannot be used.
• A person has so many books that he “should” be reading that he feels bad about himself for failing to read them.
• A garage is so full of possessions that it cannot accommodate a car.
• A bathroom is so packed with “free” samples that it has become hard to store and use the products that were purchased with intention.
• The kitchen counter is so crowded with mail and other non-kitchen items that it is hard to prepare food.
• A home is so full of stuff someone “might” use, or “can find a way to use,” that it is hard to keep the items that are needed and wanted.

In general, we are better at bringing items in than we are at circulating them out. In other words, we may not be very good at pruning. The good news is, like any skill, we can improve. New habits, especially the good ones, don’t tend to develop automatically. Still, as we practice, processes that initially felt unfamiliar becomes less intimidating, easier, and eventually automatic. The more we prune, the less we have to manage, and the better our quality of life.

One of the hardest parts of pruning is making decisions about what will stay and what will go. We may feel guilty about letting go, or unsure about whether we will need an item in the future. I acknowledge that this can be challenging. None of us has a crystal ball, and we don’t want to regret letting go before we are ready. Nevertheless, like an arborist, we can begin by identifying what we know we want to preserve (i.e., the “good branches”). Once we have this in clear focus, we can then move on to see what we might be willing to trim away.

Remember, the goal of pruning is to keep what matters and then get rid of whatever might be sapping our energy or distracting us from enjoying it. Everything we own costs us in one way or another. Holding on isn’t “free.”

To better understand how pruning improves quality of life, let’s look at a few examples.

[Tip: click through the links to each room to see more detailed tips for each space!]

Apple Trees

What to keep: strong, healthy branches with budding fruit.

What to remove: suckers, damaged branches, sick branches, and invasive plants.

The Benefit: trees that produce large, tasty fruit on trees that will last year after year.

Closets

What to keep: clothing you feel good in, that fits you now, and is in good shape.

What to remove: stained clothing, clothing you will never wear, damaged clothing, and sentimental clothing (clothing you want, but will never wear… this can go elsewhere).

The Benefit: ease of storing and selecting clothing, confidence in wearing clothes that look and feel good.

Garage

What to keep: Items your family uses now (e.g., lawn care supplies, sporting goods, outdoor recreation equipment, automotive supplies, toys, etc.) and, ideally, your car.

What to remove: supplies your family doesn’t use, hazardous waste, trash, belongings you have been holding for other people, clothing, photos, and interior furniture (garages are damp and not ideal for climate-sensitive belongings).

The Benefit: ability to store your most expensive asset – your car – in a safe and weather-protected location, easy access to outdoor supplies when you need them.

Kitchen

What to keep: Food and beverages your family eats, spices you use, active medicines & supplements, current dishes/glassware/flatware/serve ware, appliances you use, cooking & serving utensils, food storage containers and materials, foil, kitchen linens, pots, pans, and bakeware.

What to remove: Expired food and medication, unused appliances, china/dishes you never use, old paperwork, and any items you can store in other rooms.

The Benefit: a kitchen that has sufficient space for its primary function (cooking), a welcome space for gathering and potentially eating.

Playroom

What to keep: Toys, games, and art supplies that your children enjoy playing with now. (Hint: these are usually the items that are out, on top, in front, or on the floor).

What to remove: Items your children have outgrown, furniture they are too big to use, anything with broken/missing pieces, toys they never liked, mostly-used craft kits, and anything else your children don’t enjoy.

The Benefit: space for children to play/build/create, toy choices that don’t overwhelm children, and storage locations they can be expected to use.

Calendar

What to keep: scheduled time for required duties, responsibilities you have prioritized, optional activities you enjoy, social engagements, exercise, and hygiene.

What to remove: things you are doing out of guilt, optional activities you don’t actually enjoy, tasks you can delegate to someone else, time wasters.

The Benefit: the optimal balance of activity and rest, and self-care give your current situation.

These are just a few examples. You may have other areas in your life that have become crowded.

The mental hurdle to overcome is the idea that more equals better. In many cases, more simply equates to more work, more hassle, more complexity, more crowding, more expense, and more stress. Pruning is a way to make as much space as possible, both physically and temporally, for the “good stuff” by mindfully trimming those things which may be dragging you down. It also creates a bit of space to breathe and growth.

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Can you think of something you resisted pruning, but once you did, it improved your quality of life?