It’s that time of year again. For many people, the turn of the calendar marks a time to make resolutions, set intentions, and imagine their best possible year. At the beginning of January, the world can feel like our oyster. But as everyday life returns, those aspirations often fade. The good news is that even if a complete overhaul isn’t realistic, meaningful and lasting change is possible. Here’s how to make new habits stick.
Inventory Existing Habits
Human beings are habitual. You may think you are worse at habits than someone else, but odds are that this is not true. Maybe you are perpetuating habits you don’t like, but even this is evidence that you can form habits.
Here are some habits that you may already have:
Daily Habits:
- Brushing your teeth
- Making tea or coffee
- Taking a shower
- Preparing meals
- Eating meals at roughly the same time each day
- Checking email
- Scrolling social media
- Brushing your hair
- Going to bed
- Waking up
- Going to the bathroom
- Turning the lights on when you enter a dark room
- Turning the lights off when you go to bed
- Locking the doors before going to bed
- Adjusting the thermostat at certain times of day
- Getting dressed
- Walking your dog
- Feeding your pets
- Taking medication or supplements
- Praying, meditating, or reading scripture
- Planning your day
- Putting things away
- Watching TV
- Reading
- Sorting the mail
Weekly or Semi-weekly Habits:
- Pumping gas
- Paying bills
- Grocery shopping
- Exercising
- Driving to activities
- Attending a worship service
- Cleaning
- Attending a class
- Bringing in the mail
- Doing laundry
- Putting the trash out
- Reading
- Planning your week
- Meal planning
Periodic Habits:
- Getting your hair cut
- Changing printer ink
- Replacing smoke alarm batteries
- Washing the car
- Celebrating events or seasons
- Visiting the doctor or dentist
These lists are not exhaustive. We are all different, and each of us have unique habits. The important part of this step is not to make yourself feel guilty about your habits. Rather it is to intentionally notice what you seem to do with little conscious effort. Awareness of what you are doing on “autopilot” is helpful when you want to make a change.
Be Choosy
The first step to building a new habit is to clearly define it. This can feel both exciting and overwhelming. You may wonder, “Where should I start?” or think, “I feel like I have so much to change.” To set yourself up for success:
- Get very specific about your desired habit. Avoid the tendency to set your goals too high or too broad. For instance, instead of planning to “get organized,” make it your goal to “clear the kitchen counter before bed each night.”
- Narrow your focus to one habit. One at a time is enough. You can always add another once you have the first one under control.
- Choose a habit that mostly depends on you, not on others. We can’t control what others do, only what we do.
Select a Methodology
Now that you’ve reviewed your current habits, you’re ready to choose a method for building a new one. There are three basic options:
1. Replace
The first option is to replace a current behavior with a new one. If your goal is to clear the kitchen counter every night before bed, look at the inventory you made and see what you might be able to give up in order to build your new desired habit.
This works well when… you are willing to sacrifice an existing habit in order to achieve a new one. It can be particularly beneficial if you are trying to break an undesirable habit.
2. Attach
A second option is to attach your new habit to something you already do routinely. This is where your inventory of existing habits can really come in handy. For the kitchen counter example, this might mean that after you load the dishwasher you remain in the kitchen for 15 minutes clearing the counter. Alternatively, you might arrive in the kitchen 15 minutes before cooking to clear the counter..
This works well when… your current routine has momentum that you can build on. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, refers to this as “habit stacking.” Aim to stack habits of similar intensity. Just as we would stack boxes of similar size, we want to do the same with habits. You don’t want to add a habit that takes 30 minutes to one that takes two.
3. Add
In this scenario, you don’t change your routine at all—you simply add a new behavior. With the kitchen counter example, this means that at some point before you put your head to the pillow, you clear the counter. You might do it all at once, or work on it throughout the evening.
This approach can be challenging because it requires fresh “initiation energy”. One tip is to utilize tools that help you remember to perform this new habit, such as an alarm, a habit tracking app, a body double, or the nudge from an accountability partner.
This works well when… you are either fairly disciplined, or you mostly need help getting started.
Begin
There is no better way to develop a new habit than to begin. Sometimes we spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing. It is in the trying and experimenting that we see what works and what doesn’t.
Some people balk at the idea of committing to a permanent change. It can feel like too much. If this sounds like you, consider setting a time-limited goal for your new habit, such as “I will clear the kitchen counter every night for 30 days.” A limit like this can help you keep going when you want to give up, and if you can stick to it, provide a natural window for pausing and reflecting on how your new approach is working out.
If you have no idea what habits to form, you can check out my YouTube series on habits. In the spirit of consistency, click here to see one about clearing the kitchen counter.
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Building desirable habits is powerful because once they’re formed, they require far less mental energy to maintain.
What habit would you like to form this year—and which approach might work best for you?
I love this topic, especially in the new year! Habits make it effortless to do what we need to do. I especially appreciate the ADD idea because adding a new habit onto existing habits seems to be easiest.
Adding one habit to another works really well!
I’v been wearing the Invsialign retainers for a couple of months now and I had to really figure out how to make this “work.” I had to change the way I ate and drank throughout the day, and keep track of my case and when I changed them… it took some tricks for sure.
I love that you started with listing the habits you already have. It’s affirming and can give you places where you can stack a new habit.
I am a great believer in James Clear’s habit stacking. This past year I have done very well with riding my Peloton bike. This year I want to add hand weights. It makes sense to me to do the weights right before riding the bike (way too tired after). Still not sure if I want to do this daily or every other day.
Right now, I am pausing exercise until my cold is gone.
Sorry you have a cold. The flu interrupted my exercise regime totally, and today was my first day diving back in. Never easy to resume! However, my habit tracking app has been bugging me because it has kept reminding me that I hadn’t exercised LOL.
Anyway, I affirm your idea of adding the weights. They are a game changer. I started with weights a couple of years ago and that’s when I began to notice changes in my body. I needed the strength for the work we do, right?
I really appreciated your points that a habit has to be specific. For example, “I want to eat better” is too broad, and creates pressure every time I shop for groceries or have a snack. “Instead of cookies, I will have an apple” makes it so much easier!
The more specific, the better! Once year I wanted to drink more water, but rather than set a goal of “drinking more water,” or even consuming a specific amount, I just decided to drink a full glass of water before I drank any other beverage. It really worked and was pretty simple.
The simplest solutions are often the most effective!
I love the way you wrote this blog and gave people choices as they go about changing things up this year. I also love habit stacking. Linking a new habit to one already formed is a terrific way to make progress.
I’m getting lots of good feedback on the habit stacking, which is the best evidence that it is an effective strategy I think!
Ahhh. Habits. This is one of the biggest times of year when I think about (and so most people) changing habits.
I really like how you got me to think about the habits I already have, which are a lot. And many of them are beneficial like brushing my teeth, making my bed, or meditating. The advantage of looking at that list you made was that it reinforced the idea that I have agency to establish and have positive habits.
I’m also aware of not-so-good habits. And it’s those that I’m interested in working on.
One of my friends asked if I wanted to participate with her and another friend in a January challenge. The goal is to do some type of movement (20 minutes or more) every day. It can be anything- walking, exercising, dancing, doing yoga, jogging – anything that gets you up and moving. Once done, we text each other. It’s only day five, but already, I’m realizing the benefits. First, I’m not alone in this. Secondly, it’s making me even more aware of how important it is to get up and move. And it’s also nice to have regular contact with my friends. We’re encouraging each other. I also recognized that doing something for 31 days establishes a pattern that makes it more likely to continue that habit.
Awww… I love this “movement” habit with your friend. I think the social interaction is brilliant. You can be proud of each other and yourselves without feeling “braggy” because this is the very plan you are both pursuing.
I’m thinking about my own habits, and what I might want to do this year.
I like doing the habit “inventory” first as it allows me to look at opportunities for habit stacking! I have found attaching one habit to an existing one works best for me. And the focus on how habits conserve energy in the long run is a good note on which to end. 🙂 Thanks, Seana, for your insights. 🙂
The way habits conserve energy is probably my favorite thing about them. They become almost “automatic,” and that feels so much easier!
I’m a fan of habit stacking. It’s easier to add a small habit change to one that already exists than create a new one independently. For me, adding to existing habits and reassessing while I am doing habit stacking helps me determine whether the new habit is a good fit and transitions nicely into an existing habit. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. It’s always a pleasure to read your blog. Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to YOU, Sabrina!
I agree that habit stacking is like magic. I’ve been thinking about what habit I want to add this year that I could add to things I already do. I’m chewing on doing something while I’m in the car, since I spend a lot of time in the car getting to clients.
I think the “attach” or habit stacking method is by far the easiest approach for most clients. When I teach how to get used to consulting your tickler file to know what you have to do, I always start with getting a sense of the client’s “morning start” habits. For one client, immediately after breakfast and grooming, she sat down to do her Bible study. For her, it was a matter of putting her Bible on top of her tickler file, and the two being there allowed her to quickly get used to consulting one after reading the other. For another client, after she came in each evening from walking her dog, she put the leash over the top of her tickler file, ensuring that she’d know where to go for it first thing in the morning for that first-of-the-day “walkies”, and make the effort to look.
For this year, I’m stacking calf raises with brushing my teeth and podcast listening to my daily walks. You’re absolutely right about the merits and obstacles of each approach!
Calf raises – you go girl! Just think how great your legs will look by this time next year. 🙂
I’m a bit habit stacker myself. I’m always trying to build on what I’ve already established. It’s just easier!