The other day I was talking with someone who is working to become a better runner. He shared that each day he attempts to run either a little bit faster or a little bit further. This routine was building his physical stamina, enabling him to perform better in races. After our conversation, I found myself wondering if there might be a similar approach for improving our ability to perform better in other types of tasks. Is it possible to nourish mental stamina?
Before I begin, I admit that this is a huge topic. Performance is a complex subject, encompassing a variety of factors, such as focus, executive functioning skills, education, tools, setting, relationships, mental health, external distractions, and much more. Furthermore, every person is unique, and what works for one person might not work for another. I don’t have a secret recipe to make everyone “win” mental races.
Nevertheless, the idea of how to train the brain fascinates me. Since the brain isn’t a muscle, it can’t really be trained in the same way that legs, shoulders, and arms can be. However, this doesn’t mean that we can’t strengthen mental stamina, it just means that the methods will be different.
What exactly is mental stamina? In the context of this post, I am defining it as the ability for the average person to show up to a task quicker, and to stay with that task longer, than one might think is possible. It’s the ability to improve and extend our performance beyond what we have achieved in the past, in any type of endeavor.
I’ve written before on productivity, and there are many ways to “encourage” yourself to perform, such as:
- Conducting weekly and daily planning of time and tasks.
- Breaking tasks down into small, actionable pieces.
- Setting a timer to add boundaries to “focus” time.
- Adding time targets and dates for completion of tasks.
- Seeking support from a body double to keep you on task.
- Asking someone to serve as an accountability partner.
- Hiring a professional to guide you and keep you on track.
- Celebrating small wins.
These are just a few examples, and I love them all.
Still, I wonder if there might be things we can do that, although not directly associated with a specific task, will instead enhance our ability to succeed across a wide range of challenges. Are there “exercises” for this kind of stamina?
To research this question, I asked family, clients, and friends what had helped them to show up and perform at times when they felt like avoiding or walking away.
Here were two themes that recurred:
- Initiating and persevering were easier when they had confidence in their knowledge and ability to complete the task. In most cases, this was the result of having previously accomplished a “hard thing.”
- The memory of a sweet “reward” of a previous effort helped them persist when they felt like stopping.
In other words, when we have succeeded in the past, we are more inclined to try again.
Is this good news or bad?
It reminds me of the employment paradox: employers want a person with experience, but a person can’t gain experience unless he or she has a job. How can we acquire mental toughness if we don’t already have it?
Of course, not having a choice does tend to be highly motivating! If we must act for a job, class, or situation, we will probably push through. This is why coaches talk about adding external accountability to a task. Urgency, such as imminent deadline, can also get us moving.
But what if there is no urgency? What if there is a task we’d like to accomplish, but if we do not do it, there won’t be any significant, or near-term, consequence?
This leads me back to the concept of mental stamina exercises. Is there something we can do that will help us “show up” when we don’t feel like it? Is there something we can do to grow our ability to “hang in there” when we want to run away? Is there a way to nudge ourselves to willingly enter into discomfort?
As “productivity tips” go, I’m not sure the idea of welcoming discomfort is going to be very popular. Comfort is very desirable. I love comfort. I seek comfort all the time. However, as the old phrase goes, growth often comes when we step outside of our comfort zone. So does the completion of delayed and unfinished projects.
So again I ask, is it possible to “practice” being uncomfortable? And if we do this, will learning to tolerate discomfort help us toughen our mental stamina and be more productive? I think it might.
There is value in knowing we can make it through. We can do hard things. We can tolerate unpleasantness. We can figure out solutions. We can survive imperfection. Mental stamina allows us to perform even when…
- we are not optimized (e.g., we are sick, tired, cranky, busy, etc.)
- we are uncertain or fearful
- we don’t have ideal support and tools
- we don’t know exactly what we are doing
Of course, I’m not suggesting we seek these situations. I prefer to work in settings where I feel prepared, supported, and equipped, and I do what I can to maximize my odds of success. However, in my experience, I don’t always get what I want. Mental stamina enables us to achieve even when conditions are less than ideal.
The challenge for exercises, then, is to find ways to enhance our ability to endure a bit of discomfort. By definition, these exercises will look different for each of us, since we differ in what we experience to be uncomfortable. Additionally, these exercises should never be painful. We never want to do cause harm. Rather, we want to push our brains a tiny bit so they see what we can do.
What might they look like? Here are a few exercises you might want to try:
- Putting your digital devices out of reach for a period of time. (This may sound silly, but many people struggle to do this.)
- Reading a book in a genre that you’ve previously avoided.
- Listening to music you don’t particularly enjoy.
- Meditating, especially if sitting still is hard for you.
- Pursuing a new physical challenge.
- Fasting.
- Spending a few minutes in a climate that you find uncomfortable. (Shoutout to the cold plungers!)
- Using a timer to make yourself stick to a task for longer than you would normally do so.
- Delaying a pleasure.
“Exercises” like these give us the opportunity to experience small wins in a setting where the quality of our performance doesn’t matter. It’s just a chance to see what we can do. When a runner finishes a race, he realizes what he is capable of. Practicing mental stamina exercises can have a similar result. When we complete them, we experience a small “rush” of victory. We realize what we are capable of, and what it feels like to succeed, both of which nourish the mental stamina that proves so helpful for a productive life.
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How do you nourish your mental stamina?
This is a fascinating topic to me! I love the concept of endurance in the case of a challenge as well as the building of resilience when it comes to adversity. I agree that with confidence as a boost both endurance and resilience could be stretched. I am going to try this myself this week.
I’ve been trying it too. For instance, when I am hot or cold, rather than instantly try to flee, I’m seeing how long I can endure it!
What a great topic! I love how you approached it. Developing or nourishing mental stamina is a life skill that helps in all areas. I suspect you’re onto something in identifying how much we avoid discomfort. I’m thinking about difficult conversations, facing unpleasant feelings, being demotivated by the “shoulds,” and so much more.
However, developing and building resilience is an excellent way to grow. It creates the groundwork for navigating less-than-optimal situations. It provides an opportunity to grow in new ways.
Building off of what you said, perhaps you can do a combination in a particular situation that you are avoiding or dreading. Get as many things in place that will help you in that situation. Then, when you encounter the more challenging part, at least you’ll have some of the support, resources, or mental energy to boost you up and through.
Yes, I totally agree, Linda! We want to do all we can to make the setting for our “performance” as optimized as possible. The mental stamina work then can help us over a small hurdle. If we don’t do that first part, even with a strong commitment, we may still fail to engage. Terrific point!
Some of the things that I think about when trying to boost my mental stamina is to check to see that I have had enough sleep and that I am fully hydrated.
I also find that deferring a reward (reading a book, stopping for the day) until I complete a certain task works well for me.
If I am working on a big project, I find that having an accountability partner can keep me going beyond my natural inclination.
A lot of good stuff to consider.
Love that point about being well rested and hydrated. When these things are suboptimal, we are definitely going to struggle. Same with being a hurry. I love the idea of a deferred reward. Truly focusing on the reward can sometimes help us engage. Great thought!
You and Linda are on a little bit of the same page. Where Linda asks ‘what will I be glad I did today?’, you are asking how to hold ourselves accountable when we are resisting – how can we push ourselves through the mental discomfort of unease to learn we are capable of more than we thought.
Like you, I seek comfort and avoid uncomfortable situations. I have found though if I look at the problem, and set short time periods on which to tackle it, I am almost always happy that I persevered. Challenging yourself is difficult. It’s much easier to walk away. Facing the difficult stuff requires courage and a belief that you can do it.
Yes, that “believing I can do it” does help us get through. That is most easily formed by experience, but if the specific experienced has not been tested, we may wonder. That’s what I am hoping the mental stamina work will do. Give us a sense of confidence in ourselves, even if we lack this confidence for a specific task.
Holding myself accountable for smaller “bites” of time or effort definitely works for me. I know I can stay strong for a short period. Then, if I’m “in the zone” I can carry on a bit further. However, if I’m maxed out, I have permission to stop.
This is such an interesting topic. It has always baffled me when I hear clients wanting to do something but not getting around to it. However, if they are excited and can see the outcome or result and where they will be if they take such steps, they are more willing to achieve and stick with it.
The negative self-talk we say to ourselves about things we promise to do will stop us from continuing, even at a slower pace. We need to look at some tasks not as a get it done by this date but as a get it done as we can. Not everything has to be deadline driven.
I love that quote! “…if you have 50 percent to give, and you give 50 percent, then you gave 100 percent.” ~ Meghan Lawson, Legacy of Learning
This is such a good point, Sabrina. Deadlines can be motivating, but sometimes it is easier to work when we aren’t under time pressure. I’ve noticed working with clients that once we experience success in one area, the client is more motivated to tackle another. This stems from the personal experience of accomplishment and sweet reward. This is why I also say that the organizing gets easier and easier as we go. 🙂
This is so inspiring, I’ve saved it to my “Achieving Awesomeness” board. You’ve given me great stuff to ponder.
Although it’s hard, stepping outside my comfort zone has brought me countless rewards, including more confidence, more income, and more friends. (That said, I still struggle to do it, nearly every time.)
I still struggle as well. I love my comfort zone LOL! But like you, I found growth and some terrific rewards from stepping outside of it. It’s good to know I can do hard things.
Such a great topic. Meditating helps me remain calm and grounded throughout the days, thus helps my mental stamina.
Lists help me remain on task. I find clutter causes chaos in my brain. I cannot cold plunge, so far cold makes me angry 🤣 ugh.
I cannot cold plunge either. I have trouble with my fingers and toes. I think I’d lose them if I tried the cold plunge LOL. Still, I admire those who do it, and the mental stamina they gain from doing so!
This is so intriguing. I’ll be honest, I’m of a mind that I would never want to introduce a discomfort, per se, for the experience of learning to live with discomfort. I believe there’s quite enough discomfort in life without taking listening to discordant music or taking a cold plunge (or living without air conditioning when it’s hot).
That said, there are numerous discomforts that come along with attaining a skill and establishing a useful achievement that are worthy. Giving up staying up late (not something I’m much good at) so that you can get up early and have a smoother start to your day yields a benefit beyond the gained stamina; the meditating you suggest (because it has a benefit that you want, unlike the discomforts for discomfort’s sake) is appealing even though I don’t enjoy even meditating. I take on challenges because I know I’ll work harder to achieve, not through competitiveness with others, but competing against myself — reading more because of the Goodreads Challenge; spending more time practicing Italian (and now, learning Spanish), both to use them in my impending travels but also to rack up the silly badges in Duolingo.
When there’s no urgency, adding urgency with a fake deadline can work with some people, but I’ve learned it doesn’t work for me; I can no more fool myself that way than setting my clock ahead by a few minutes. However, body doubling absolutely forces me to put my butt in the chair, and for me, getting started is 70% of the effort! Conquering the “I don’t wannas” of life are best done by Obligers (like me) by introducing a social component. Basically, there’s almost nothing I’m willing to do that will result in physical discomfort, especially without a “win” beyond having built stamina; but intellectual and emotional discomfort to have the mutual support of a mastermind group or body-doubling/co-working team? Yeppers, if I can “partner” with others (real or cartoon versions, like with Duolingo) in any manner, that’s enough to built up my stamina and resilience.
I love the way you poised all of this, and am very fond of the Meghan Lawson quote! When you’ve got a process in place and then get sick or disappointed or miserable, you may not do as much as you usually do, but you’ll do so much more than if you had nothing rigorous in place at all.
These are all great ways to get yourself motivated. Some people are highly motivated and strengthened by other people, as you offer with the partnering concept. Whatever works, do it!
I suppose I see developing a bit of a tolerance for discomfort as a path to a “win,” even if it isn’t immediately obvious. Just knowing I can “stand it” and do hard things might help me when I’m facing a mountain I don’t want to climb.
That said, it is just a conversation. I know we are all so unique, and what matters most in figuring out how to get yourself initiating and persevering!
I definitely could use some of these suggestions. I’m better than I used to be about doing things that are new to me and a bit intimidating but I could be doing better. I like the suggestion of having a reward if I finish a task I’ve been avoiding. Food for thought!
Having that reward can often keep me going too, Dianne!