Have you ever been told you are stuck in a rut? It’s usually seen as a bad thing. But I recently read a post by Peter Shankman that made me reconsider. While we can fall into destructive patterns, is it also possible to be stuck in a good rut?
What is a Rut?
Let’s begin by considering the definition of a rut. On a road, a rut is a groove formed by the repeated passage of vehicles. In life, it’s a fixed way of doing things that gets repeated over time.
Ruts aren’t flashy or exciting. In fact, ruts are considered predictable, limiting, and even dull. In addition, they are viewed as behaviors we have fallen into, like a cart that has sunk into soggy ground, more than intentional choices.
As with any pattern or habit, once we settle into a rut, it’s easier to stay there than to climb out and try a new approach.
Is a Rut Bad?
Aside from its negative connotation, and regardless of how we may have gotten into a rut, the real question is whether your rut is making life better or worse for you and those you care about.
Societal messaging suggests that being in a rut is a bad thing.
The world runs on selling the latest, greatest, and “must have.” This applies not only to physical belongings, but also to tools and lifestyles. Over the past couple of decades, I’ve seen a variety of apps, tools, diets, workout routines, meditation techniques, sleep tricks, decluttering approaches, and more come and go. Some are free, many require investment. Often, they are pitched by celebrities and influencers.
It’s not surprising that this is the case. The world often rotates around money, so it’s important to keep people buying. Marketers are experts at appealing to both curiosity and insecurity. Got a problem? Here’s a book, class, or tool to fix it. Want to up your game? Check out this new gadget.
This is not to say that any of these are inherently bad. For instance, without GPS I would struggle to find my way around. I’m simply pointing out that newdoesn’t always mean better. The most successful bakery in my area still takes order in a paper book.
Opinions on Ruts
Living in your rut can be challenging. Not everyone will affirm your choices, and you may experience more criticism than affirmation. Why is that? A few reasons come to mind:
- People who are “stuck in a rut” are not easily swayed out of it. This might come off as uncooperative, selfish, or judgmental.
- Those who struggle with consistency may envy it and find it easier to mock than adopt.
- Much of what happens in a rut is rote and boring. Predictable living rarely earns celebration or recognition.
- Doing things the way you’ve always done them can come off as old-fashioned and/or rigid.
- Your approach may make it difficult to fit in with social norms.
Others may never understand why we do the things we do. What works for one person may not work for another.
I often say we don’t understand what we haven’t experienced. Without sufficient understanding, another’s (especially unsolicited) advice may be unwise.
Are You Stuck in A Rut?
If ruts are morally neutral, how do we figure out if we are stuck in a rut that is undesirable?
The first step is to assess whether you’re in a rut at all. For instance:
- Do you do things the same way, or in the same order, day after day?
- Do you have a rhythm to your days, weeks, and /or seasons?
- Have you set up systems for managing your responsibilities upon which you heavily rely?
- Do you stick by your approach no matter your circumstances?
- Are you predictable?
Second, if you think you’re in a rut, consider whether your current approach is working:
- Do your routines bring you peace or cause you stress?
- Have you mindfully constructed your habits to maximize your success?
- Do you feel hindered by patterns from your family of origin?
- Are you struggling with the same challenges you have faced in the past? Are you addressing the ones within your control?
- Are you content with the way you do things or constantly looking for something better?
- Do you fall back on the way you’ve always done things, even though you acknowledge that it isn’t working?
Remember, if the only “bad” thing about your rut is that others criticize you, you may not be stuck at all.
Characteristics of a Good Rut
Still not sure if your current approach is working for you? I think that a good rut has a few key characteristics:
1. It makes life easier, not smaller.
Your routines simplify things (meals, sleep, work, health), freeing up energy for what matters to you. It’s not a rigid system that boxes you in.
2. It produces consistent results.
A good rut reduces the need to rely on motivation. Instead, relying on the structure you’ve established leads to good outcomes.
3. It feels calm, not suffocating.
There’s a sense of rhythm or flow. It may look boring from the outside, but it feels familiar and comfortable to you.
4. It’s chosen, not defaulted into.
You’ve intentionally kept these patterns because they serve you.
5. It has flexibility at the edges.
You can adapt when needed without everything collapsing.
Thriving in Your Rut
If you are lucky enough to have found what works for you, by all means, stick with it. Do your thing. Maybe you go to bed early or stay up late. Perhaps you have chosen not to drink alcohol. Maybe you set aside daily time to be alone. Perhaps you use a paper calendar or wear the same style shirt each day. Don’t feel pressured to change just because your approach is different, old-fashioned, or not on Instagram-worthy.
However, if you do feel stuck in a rut that isn’t serving you, there are many resources (e.g., coaches, trainers, nutritionists, medical providers, professional organizers, productivity experts, support groups, etc.) who can help you get out of your rut and onto a better path to achieve your goals. Being stuck in an undesirable rut can be very isolating; a good first step is inviting in someone you trust.
One additional note. I want to be clear that I am not advocating for selfish behavior. If being in your rut impinges on the well-being of those in your close circle, it is important to negotiate mutually beneficial solutions. Just as we want to feel free to live in a manner that works for us, we need to let others do the same.
At the same time, be on guard against naysayers. People may pressure you to do things their way in order to feel relevant or to justify their own choices. And as I said before, many are just trying to sell you something. Only you can choose the path, routines, tools, and structure that are right for you.
The human race is amazing in its diversity. As much as it may be purported, there is no “one size fits all” solution for living. Even a brief peek through history reveals the many ways individuals have found to nurture their unique gifts and contribute to the world.
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So, can you be stuck in a good rut? While I wouldn’t use the word “stuck,” I do think it is possible to settle into routines and tools that support your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional goals. Part of maturing is figuring out what works for you and then sticking with it.
Will you make changes over time? Probably. Even a good rut benefits from occasional tweaking. Furthermore, the landscape in which we operate is always shifting. We will likely be forced to adapt in some ways. As with items, it is wise to regularly review and assess the current state of affairs.
What are some characteristics of your rut that work for you?
I love a good rut! That’s an affirmation of consistency!
Amen, Ellen! Not all ruts are bad!
This is such an interesting perspective. I’ve always considered a rut, or being stuck in one, as a negative situation. I suppose that’s because the phrase, “stuck in a rut,” with “stuck” being the operative word, doesn’t connote something beneficial.
However, in the way you are describing ruts, you are extending it to include habits or routines. By definition, habits repeat regularly. Perhaps that’s like the same regularity that being ‘stuck in a rut’ does. But for me, that’s where the similarity ends.
There are habits and routines that are beneficial and ones that are not. And as you said, even ones that are working might need adjustment over time. Habits can be shortcuts, so we don’t have to plan every moment. We can go on autopilot for certain things. That’s a good thing, as there are so many decisions to make each day. Having built-in habits helps to reduce the cognitive load. However, those shortcuts can get stale. Sometimes the brain needs something new or different to keep engagement high.
I don’t have any ruts I consider positive. For me, ruts are like unhelpful habits that I want ‘out’ of.
Definitely the phrase, “stuck in a rut” has a negative connotation.
The idea here is simply to acknowledge that we can receive criticism for the way we do things, perhaps because they are perceived as old-fashioned or inefficient. However, if they work for us, we aren’t really stuck, are we? We’ve simply found an approach that is a good fit with who we are. What other see as us “stuck” is actually just us, doing our thing, with those routines and habits you mention.
My routine ruts work for me and make my life easier. It frees up my mental bandwidth to take on more creative projects.
I always tell my clients, “If it works for you, don’t mess with it.”
Most definitely! I say the same thing. I don’t want to come in and fix something that isn’t broken.
I love this perspective, Seana.
I agree some ruts are worth sticking to and some may need tweaking or releasing. When something works it is admirable to stick with it and not give in to peer pressure to change just because it doesn’t align with the peer’s idea of the way things ‘should’ be done.
Also, ruts can really help us out – think of the idea that certain chores are done on specific days or certain meals/menu on specific days. These ruts make life predictable.
That’s exactly it, Diane. Peer pressure is rarely a good reason to do anything, let alone move away from a system that is working for you!
Seana, your post reminds me of this Zen proverb: “Creating a habit is like walking through deep snow. At first it is really hard. But each time you walk that path, it gets easier. Eventually, it is easier to walk that path than to break a new one.” It speaks to creating a new, good rut that serves you better than the old one did. It can be hard to get out of an old rut that no longer serves you, but mostly, I think, because we don’t think about them. As per your post, it requires analyzing what’s wrong and consciously changing something.
I think that is true for the way we complete tasks and the way we think. Even thought patterns can be well-worn paths in the snow.
If the path we’ve worked is working for us, we don’t need to find a new way simply because there is peer pressure to do so.
On the other hand, if our path isn’t working, time to rally and start forging that new way through the snow.
My routines (“ruts” sounds so negative!) make my life better by making things predictable and efficient. They rarely fail me! It’s those non-routine tasks that tend to be overlooked sometimes.
Non-routine tasks are much more likely to throw me for a loop as well.
On the issue of being a negative word, that is sort of the point of the post. Others may say we are stuck, boring, rigid, no fun, or old fashioned. In reality, we may have simply found an approach that works for us. Often that negative accusation says more about the person making the comment than about us.
I loved that post on Peter Shankman’s Substack! It reminded me of a post I wrote about not getting stuck in a rut and making big leaps, but how there’s also a case for embracing what works for you and thinking of it as a *groove*.z
Heck yeah, new doesn’t always mean better. I still prefer having a VCR, where I could record what I wanted, take the physical medium wherever I wanted, and watch it whenever and wherever. With a DVR, I’m stuck watching at home (or, if I can manage to make it work, on the app on my tiny phone screen), it’s not portable, and because the cable company makes me replace my DVR every few years, my recordings don’t belong to me. My viewing (and entertainment organizing) style used to be a groove, but now it’s a rut.
A great quote, which is too often truncated, makes one of your points. “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” It’s the foolish consistency, not the mere act of being consistent, that is the hobgoblin of little minds. Consistency when a system or style works is wonderful; hewing to it when it provides fewer and fewer returns is the bad path.
I love your perspective on this. We are unique individuals, and (absent hurtful selfishness) must find, tweak, keep, or discard the systems and approaches that support us. Your post shows a great way to live an authentic, successful life!
Loving the idea of a groove, Julie. You have such a gift with words.
On the humorous side, my husband and I spent about 15 minutes trying to log onto a smart TV on vacation. What a hassle. TV has become expensive, complicated, and frustrating. I’m missing the old 3-channel, VCR days as well. At least we owned what we owned. Everything now seems to be a rental. Even property, which I own, gets taxes so much each year it feels like a subscription!
I definitely think I’m stuck in a good rut and it helps my life flow easily. It’s more of a scheduling routine than a rut. However I do think being adamant about doing some things repeatedly is bad. Flexibility in life is very important. This was a good thought provoking blog. Thanks
Another person said a good rut is a “groove,” which I loved! Great way to delineate between something that is working and something that isn’t.