Are you feeling holiday overwhelm? The season is in full swing, and everywhere we turn we’re bombarded with messages about what we need to get, do, or be. It can feel exhausting—and honestly, a little disorienting. How are we supposed to keep up with all of it?
Here’s the good news: you aren’t.
Because the whole idea of a “must-have” is a myth.
I say this as someone who used to work in marketing. I understand the strategy. I know the messaging is crafted to make us wonder whether we’re enough as we are. If we believe we’re lacking, we spend time, energy, and money trying to fill the gap.
This season, you might be hearing about things like:
- The “it” toy every child is begging for
- The outfit that’s required to look festive at the holiday party
- The newest trend in holiday decorating
- The gift “everyone” is giving this year
- The timesaving app you have to download
- The clever Elf on the Shelf ideas all your friends are pulling off
- The outing your family “needs” to take to prove you really love your kids
The list is endless. And relentless.
But here’s what I want to remind you of today: you don’t actually need any of it.
As the Whos down in Whoville discovered, it isn’t about boxes, bangles, bags, or bells. It’s about something that means a little bit more. Yes, gifts can be delightful. Yes, wearing something new can make you feel special. But chasing these “must-haves” isn’t wise if it leaves you stressed, stretched, or exhausted.
The truth is, the most meaningful parts of the season don’t cost anything at all. Things like:
- Giving someone your full, unhurried attention
- Savoring togetherness
- Choosing to overlook small offenses
- Laughing—really laughing
- Playing like you’re not keeping score
- Serving someone quietly, without fanfare
I’m not here to bash the fun parts of the season. I’m just offering a little perspective:
today’s ‘must-haves’ will almost always become next year’s ‘has-beens.’ In fact, give it enough time and you might be paying someone like me to help you get rid of it.
So, as you move through this season, give yourself permission to release the pressure and center your energy where it truly belongs. You don’t have to follow every trend, attend every event, or deliver picture-perfect moments. What matters most is what feels meaningful to you and the people you love. If that means keeping things simple, slowing down, or choosing connection over consumption, that’s more than enough.
* * *
Do you have a zero-dollar holiday experience or tradition that you treasure?
Our “influencer” world has impacted the “must have” wants. Working against this is the uncertain economy. Many people are thinking about how to maximize their resources. This year more people are making hard decisions.
I hope the hard decisions lead to some affordable and surprisingly joyful moments!
Great reminders here, Seana.
Nick and I received an invitation with the dress code: Festive Attire Required. I took myself to the mall, look in some shops, and took myself home. I then looked through my closet and determined I could look ‘Festive’ in something I already had. The party is this coming weekend. I’m happy I shopped from my closet instead of purchasing something a little sparkly.
I love this story, Diane! I had a similar experience with a gift. I decided to shop the house and am so happy I did!
Oh, Seana! I adore what you wrote. Your message is one that needs to be heard and embraced.
The older I get, the more I understand the value of time, not things, of being with loved ones, not showering them with gifts they don’t want. Time IS the gift. Letting go of “small offenses IS the gift. “Savoring” the time you have IS the gift. And so much more, as you beautifully described.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season filled with all of those ‘things’ that enrich your heart and spirit.
Beautiful words to express this thought, Linda! Time truly is one of the most valuable gifts we can give, and then allowing ourselves to be present in that time. It’s tricky when you have a lot going on, and I have compassion for those who are juggling. I’ve come to realize this is one of the gifts of getting older. Some things fall away, but the way we value togetherness increases!
Excellent point, Seana! I only have a few traditions these days that we all do as a family. This has been reduced as the kids are now adults, and there are only a few things they still want to do.
My favorite zero-dollar holiday experience is something we do each year with the extended family. On Christmas Day, we do several carols with our “house band” (my daughter, my niece, my sister-in-law’s dad, her brother, and everyone else sings along). It is a fun time, and we really enjoy it.
Well how fun is that? And so special and unique to your family! A perfect example of what a commercial “must have” can’t touch. 🙂
Abso-freaking-lutely! Say it again! People have been complaining about the commercialization of the holidays since the 1950s, ever since the post-war economic boom made it possible. From radio to broadcast television to cable the internet to social media, even as we become more and more bifurcated and separated from one another with news and entertainment, we still all get the same media messages. Buy this, be this way, follow these rules.
Nope. It helps that because I didn’t grow up celebrating Christmas, and because Hanukkah is (outside of commercialization) a relatively small holiday, with gifts more focused on children, I look askance at all of this hubbub of trend-following. My clients are often surprised when I encourage them to let go of “must-do” and “must have” ideas and make their own rules. “I can do that?” they ask, in a mix of wonder and amusement.
Sure, if your kids are in the full throes of the media blitz for certain toys, it’s hard. But all the other things? I urge people to make sure that each family member’s favorite tradition gets upheld, but everything imposed from the outside? Take a cue from Elsa and “Let it go!” Thank you for championing this, Seana!
You are lucky that Hanukkah hasn’t gone commercial yet! I agree that the gifts for kids is the hardest one to get around. But I have seen “must have” for everything from decor, to food I should be serving, to what I should be wearing, to the latest gadget my house needs, to the “it” gift of the year. It’s all marketing. That doesnt make it inherently bad, but only to help us see that it’s trying to persuade behavior, not stating a fact.
I bet you and I remember the Cabbage Patch doll craze, right? And who wants one of those now?
Such a good perspective! We don’t need all the “must-haves” to make this season meaningful. Slowing down and choosing what truly matters feels like the best gift of all.
It can be hard to do, but I think it’s worth the effort!