The Important Differences Between Acquisition and Ownership

Recently, I’ve come across videos on my social media feed featuring baseball fans catching home run balls. Watching these videos –and the reactions to them –got me thinking about the important differences between acquisition and ownership. Let me explain.

Acquisition

Going to a professional baseball game can be so much fun: sitting inside a vast stadium, eating the yummy food, hearing the familiar cheers and chants, and feeling the buzz of watching favorite players give it their all. If you happen to be super lucky, there is even the possibility of catching a homerun ball.

Have you ever caught one I haven’t, but watching others has shown me just how thrilling that moment can be. I’ve seen people jump in the air, climb over seats, race down stadium steps and more to get ahold of the precious ball. I even saw one father who caught a ball with one hand while holding a baby in the other – impressive!

There is something uniquely exciting about getting something new and special.

Of course, this isn’t limited to baseballs. Anything new is fun to acquire, including things like:

• New or special clothing items
• Tech gadgets (phones, gaming equipment, computers, etc.)
• A new car
• Home decorations
• Hobby-related gadgets
• New school supplies

Acquiring new things often triggers a joy response, sort of like a shot of serotonin or adrenaline. I’ve often heard people joke about “retail therapy” as a way to cheer up. New things can make us feel optimistic as we look forward to using them. “New” feels fresh, perfect, and unspoiled. Who doesn’t love getting something new?

Ownership

In contrast, owning things can make us feel a variety of ways. In my own life, I’ve noticed that the joy of getting something new doesn’t always last. Of course, I still love having belongings that I use, need, and/or love (my top three criteria for keeping things!), but ownership carries with it responsibility. I often remind clients: everything we own owns a piece of us. Taking care of stuff is time consuming and can be expensive. I even wrote a song about this.

I remember really learning this lesson when my husband and I moved into our first home. It wasn’t long after moving in that things started to break. Since we were owners, we couldn’t just pick up the phone and call the landlord. Instead, we were quickly plunged into the world of chimney liners, exterminators, leaking plumbing, etc. I laugh at how my husband used to tell me to “call someone,” as if home ownership was accompanied by a book entitled Someone to Call When Things Break.

Since ownership comes with responsibility, the sparkle of acquisition often fades.

• That new coat that looked so good in the store is now crowding space in the closet.
• The gadget isn’t as much fun when it doesn’t work.
• The trinket we bought on vacation sits gathering dust and we hardly notice it anymore.

Hopefully, many of the things we buy (or receive) have staying power, meaning we are able to enjoy them for a long time beyond the moment of acquisition. For instance, I still love my onion goggles and wear them every time I slice onions. They have significantly simplified a task I used to dread!

But the truth is, not everything we acquire has “staying power.” I often talk with clients about the fact that nobody makes perfect decisions. We all end up owning some things that “seemed like a good idea at the time,” but for whatever reason, never achieved their full potential.

To have a space that you love, the key is to keep the things that matter most and let go of anything that has become a burden or distraction.

A Joyful Option

Getting back to my baseball analogy, there is another scenario I’ve seen on social media that I simply adore. This is when one person (e.g., an adult or young adult) experiences the excitement of catching the ball but then turns around and gives the prize to a child. In a way, I think this represents a joyful option when it comes to physical possessions; a “sweet spot” that gives us excitement without the burden of ownership.

How might we experience this option outside of the baseball stadium?

Here are a few ideas:

Rent

Do we really need to own something in order to enjoy it? I know when I walk away from a rental property, I feel delight that I don’t have to think about it anymore. I just turn in the key and move on.

Borrow

Sometimes it is nice to be able to borrow an item that we seldom use. For instance, I recently borrowed an electric pump for blowing up balloons. My daughter got married and I had purchased a kit for a balloon arch. Rather than buying the pump I knew I’d only use once, I borrowed one from my church. I’m not sure if I will ever assemble a balloon arch again, so why take up space in my home to store one?

Visit

Often, we can get just as much pleasure from an item by “visiting” it as by owning it. For example, we can go to a museum and see beautiful art, or a botanical garden to enjoy beautiful flowers. In reality, we are more likely to focus on and enjoy things we rarely see over those we see often. We can let other establishments bear the burden of tending, insuring, and maintaining, allowing us to just pop in and enjoy.

When Acquiring is the Only Pleasure

Lastly, I want to raise a red flag for anyone who finds that their joy comes almost exclusively from acquiring things. In this situation, the “rush” of getting new things may be a coping mechanism for sadness, depression, anxiety, stress, and more.

How do you know if this is you? Some telltale signs include:

• Piles of belongings you don’t use
• Items you’ve purchased and never opened
• Frequent post-purchase regret and shame
• Buying behavior that has left you in debt

Shopping addiction is real–not a joke–and there are resources and support systems available to you. If you think you are need of support and/or direction when it comes to shopping, don’t suffer in silence. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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Can you think of a time when getting something was more fun than actually having it? How do you decide what is worth owning?