Big events – weddings, family reunions, graduations – are fun. Family and friends come together to be together and celebrate. At the same time, for the host, big events can be stressful. Even with a lot of advance planning, the host is always the one burdened by last minute questions and emergencies. While there is no way to be 100% prepared for a large celebration, here is what you need to know if you are hosting a big event.
- Begin by defining your “why.” Before you start working on execution, take a minute to clarify why you are hosting the event in the first place. Is it to be together with family? Is it to provide a memorable event for a loved one? Is it to celebrate an accomplishment? Clearly establishing the positive purpose for the event will help you enjoy, rather than dread, the work ahead.
- Plan in advance. This is sort of obvious, but the more you can get done beforehand, the easier the day will be. Cook and freeze meals, pack and label supplies, pre-open packaging, confirm hotel reservations, etc. It’s also a good idea to have a planning meeting with the adults in the house. Talk about how you might divide up the preparation tasks, as well as how you will divvy up responsibilities during the event itself. Also, choose a “planning tool,” such as a binder, notebook, or digital tool for keeping track of vendors, decoration plans, menus, etc.
- Before the event, ask guests about food allergies and special needs. There’s nothing like planning a delicious spread, only to find out that someone can’t eat it. Food allergies can be serious, so offer choices and make sure you aren’t endangering anyone.
- Create a detailed timeline and send it to everyone. This list should include a schedule that details where people need to be at what time. Include addresses, parking directions and phone numbers. You can communicate via text, email, Google sheet, Evite or even a private Facebook group.
- Specify dress code in writing. Large group gatherings come in all shapes and sizes these days: one event may be formal while another is “shorts and flip flops.” To save time and confusion, don’t assume that everyone knows what to wear, or that everyone knows how to interpret standard phrases like “casual dress.”
- Consider hiring a photographer. Sometimes we feel pressure to document a big event in photographs or videos. The challenge is, while we are busy entertaining, we don’t have time to wander around and capture the best moments. If there isn’t a budget for a professional, perhaps there is a hobbyist in the group who would be willing to fill this role.
- Delegate specific tasks. Most people are very happy to help out, but just don’t know what to do. Make a list of tasks in advance that are specific and easy to hand off. When people start arriving, ask if they would be willing to take one of them. If your event stretches over multiple days, consider creating a schedule of which group of people will be responsible for which tasks each day. For instance, rotate who will cook or clean up after dinner each night.
- Arrange for off-site pet care. There is nothing like a crowd to agitate a pet. Additionally, guests don’t know the “regular routine,” and are likely to leave a door open or put food on the floor. To avoid an unwanted issue, move pets out of the space until the festivities are over.
- Assemble a first aid kit and have it with you at all times. Accidents happen, and having some supplies on hand can make the difference between a quick fix and a need to leave the event.
- Pre-pay whatever you can. For example, if girls are assembling to have their hair done for a wedding, pay the fee (plus tip) in advance. This will mean one fewer thing to handle on the busy day.
- Reconfirm everything the day before. Sometimes we make arrangements with a service provider and then arrive to find that things aren’t quite as we agreed. To avert this, plan some time the day before to do things such as visit a venue to make sure chairs/tables/etc. has been set up properly, confirm the time that the florist will deliver flowers, reconfirm the menu and arrival time with the caterer, etc.
If you have been given the job of hosting a big event, take a deep breath. There are many details, and some of them are sure to fall through. Keep a smile on your face and try and let the little things go. Remember, at the end of the day, sometimes the biggest “flubs” end up being the source of beloved family folklore in the years to come.
What tricks have you found helpful when hosting an event?
There are so many ways you are sharing here about how to have fun at your own event. The biggest to me is having a photographer. That person can capture the fun for you! For our family events, we make sure all the details are communicated to our guests and keep it all as simple as possible. We love hosting so having it all in writing makes that easier.
I agree. Having everything in writing just answers a lot of question without putting the burden on the guests to ask!
You are speaking my language. I love planning big events. I have planned several large events over the years from our wedding to large bridal showers to graduation parties.
I agree; planning and a binder work wonders to keep one on track. I had a binder for our wedding (I still have it. =/ ), and it worked great. Many agreements/contracts (digitally or physically) are involved when planning a big event like a wedding. They are digitally sent these days, creating folders digitally for the different activities, where people are staying, etc… for the event will make it easier to retrieve them.
I also found that creating a timeline for the event works well, especially if people need to meet at a certain time to get their hair and makeup done. I did an entire day itinerary for my bridal party so they knew exactly when things were happening and where they needed to be. When there are a lot of moving parts and people involved, it is best to lay it out on paper so one can see the big picture to make sure nothing is missing. Then, if they choose, they can add appointments to their calendar and send invites to people involved.
Also, following up with all the vendors involved a week before the event will give one peace of mind and minimize the headache on the day of the event.
Great additions, Sabrina. A timeline in writing answers so many questions before the guests have to ask!
I like the idea of digital folders for each vendor for a large event. I may have a wedding to plan in the future, so I’ll be taking this advice. 🙂
What a great list! I also put together a detailed timeline in a word document that I print for me when giving a party. One of the first things on my list is putting together the guest list and next is sending out a “save the date” email. I have a later date for mailing out invitations. I just checked an old list, and it had 20 tasks with dates.
Love the timeline idea! That really is the best way to let everyone know what is going on, without making them reach out to you to ask. With the electronic tools we have available these days, communication is fairly easy. We (the hosts) just need to remember to do it!
This is a wonderful and thorough list of things to do before big events. I love that you are specific with things like the dress code and ways to help. We all have different understandings of certain expressions what is “Business Casual” to some may be dressy to others. Also, people love to help. Letting them know the ways in which they can be helpful does not end up being counter-productive. I know this blog will be helpful and useful to many of us as we go about planning our parties!
I think the dress code issue is one thing so many people stress over. I once had a host tell us what she would be wearing to each aspect of a weekend event. This really helped me pack!
Ahhh, those big events! As someone who has hosted many big parties and gatherings, I love your advice.
There can be a lot of details, so identifying and focusing on your why goes a long way toward appreciating the process and list of to-dos. I remind myself of my why initially and throughout the party process.
Planning is another crucial part. Knowing what you need to do and when helps alleviate anxiety and stress. Having a list of delegable items in advance is also helpful. People like to help. But when you’re entertaining, thinking of tasks at the moment can be challenging.
I also like to get as much done in advance as possible so that I can spend more time enjoying and interacting with our guests.
The other thing is planning some cushion around pre and post-party. No matter how well you plan or how well the event goes, it is exhausting. Giving yourself some clear, recouping, and quiet time the days before and after can make a big difference.
Great advice to build in space before and after the event. Before you may be busy handling last minute details. After, well, you might need to tackle many tasks you put off while working on the event… or, you might just be tired LOL!
Those are all great examples of how to be prepared. It’s good to remember that many things that don’t work out as you planned aren’t eve noticed be anyone but you. I agree it’s important to keep written details of the plans and make sure everyone involved gets a copy. You covered pretty much everything necessary for a big event. Thanks for sharing all that information.
There is usually at least one thing that doesn’t go according to plan with big events, right? I can clearly identify what they were at the events I hosted. However, once the event begins, it is important not to let those things ruin your enjoyment of the event. It helps to make an effort to just “go with the flow,” and hopefully you can laugh about it later.
Wow! You’ve thought of everything. I have never thought of pet-care or hiring a photographer. Goods ideas so the host can enjoy the party/gathering with everyone else.
The pet care tip comes from having had a dog who didn’t “play well with others” LOL!
What a great overview for approaching the stressors related to event hosting. I’d add a 2 (b) to your planning for budgeting, because I think the biggest stressor for any event is a surprise expense or expense that’s larger than you planned.
Personally, I’m not an event person. I think I’ve only ever thrown two parties on my own (and both were when I was in college, with my mom being in charge of my “catering” and budget). A friend’s mother once asked me to throw a baby shower for her, and I was flummoxed, because helping clients plan such an event, in terms of reminding them what to consider, is in my wheelhouse, but coming up with food or knowing whom to even invite was not. (In the end, I volunteered to serve as labor, instead.) You’ve spelled out the major issues in such a way that anyone facing this kind of project will have a sense of what to consider, and starting with the “why” is a fabulous beginning. Great stuff!
How nice that your Mom provided catering :)!
Events are a lot of work for the hosts, and I just want them to get to enjoy the event. As with most things, nailing down events and considering possible problems and “pre-gaming” solutions can definitely reduce the stress.
I’m always good for labor myself!
As a guest, I appreciate your suggestion to be clear about dress code, even if it’s “wear whatever you feel like.” There was a time when, if I wasn’t sure, I’d wear a jean skirt. Then I’d feel comfortable whether others also wore skirts or jeans. Now that they’re not as popular (at least not for women of my age!), I have to think a bit harder.
I greatly appreciated once when a host of a weekend event let us know exactly what she was planning to wear throughout the weekend. That helped!
You know I love #6!! I love the whole idea of knowing your why. For us, it’s been a long time since we have hosted something big. We used to before the lockdown and babies. Now I think we’re feeling ready(ish) again.
I can connect with that feeing. It takes awhile to get used to bringing people in again, especially if you have had life events at home that are taking extra energy!
I have hosted many events but nonetheless it is stressful. The more you do it the better you get but your suggestions really hit the nail on the head. Following a schedule printed in advance is essential. I especially like the suggestion about what to wear. It is always a question in everyone’s mind and being specific about what you are wearing is tremendously helpful to your guests. Proper organization will result in the hostess being able to enjoy the event. Your suggestions are spot on. Thanks you.
I’ve gotten the most feedback on the suggestion about what to wear, so clearly this is resonating. It is hard if you don’t know what to wear to respect the hostess and the other guests.