Just because we are staying at home doesn’t mean we are not experiencing peer pressure. Does it seem like everyone else is handling the current situation better than you are? Maybe you can relate to Polly.
Everyone is experiencing “ups” and “downs” right now. In these stressful moments, remember that no one has it all figured out. We are all doing our best!
Can you relate to Polly?
Perfectly said and even when I think we got things underway control right now something else crops up unexpectedly. So, literally just taking it day by day right now. Hugs and thanks for the reminder that we are all just doing what we can.
Janine Huldie recently posted…7 Fun Virtual Party Ideas to Conquer the Quarantine
That is exactly the way it is: good moments and rough moments. It’s impossible to plan everything because new things keep cropping up! Watching social media and thinking everyone else has it “together” can make us feel worse. Toss in a major storm today, and who knows what is coming, right? Stay strong and healthy, Janine!
Everyone is experiencing the ups and downs of life right now. I always say every day is a fresh start.
The fact that we get a fresh start every day is one of the most incredible blessings of life. The new day offers fresh energy and perspective to tackle things that seemed insurmountable the previous night. I’m very thankful indeed for that!
I love Polly. She is so real! You said it; we’re all just doing what we can – one day at a time.
We should never compare our private life to someone else’s public life, right? We may behaving a rough moment now, but it might be much better in an hour or two. Let’s all show ourselves a little grace!
The comparing thing is always destructive. And especially now, when we need to extend more grace and kindness to ourselves and others, comparisons eat away at that. The situation is new for each of us, and we’re all finding our way. For some, that means controlling as much of our environment as possible. That is one way to create control and calm within the chaos. For others, the crisis has thrown us into depression, exhaustion, and overwhelm. So everything including, our emotions and environment, feels out of control.
The best we can do is to honor what we need, extend kindness, express gratitude, and STOP comparing.
Amen and amen. I couldn’t agree more. This is different for each of us. Additionally, I think we are all riding the roller coaster – some moments things are going well, and the next, we feel like we are in a trough. One moment at a time, in your own way, is best!
I feel sorry for the parents that have been thrown into this situation and had never tackled work and kids at home. It’s not an easy task. On a positive note, it is doable, and if the kids don’t get something done, it’s not the parents’ fault. They can only do what they can do. Being hard on themselves or other parents isn’t healthy for anyone.
Living day by day and staying on point with an essential task is more effective. I found chunking my day when the kids were little was better than working straight through. So, say the kids have tasks to do, and they work best at 10 AM – 12 noon. I would work from 7 – 10 AM on my business and then stop work. Then, pick up again went they go down for a nap at 2 – 4 PM. Then, if I had other things to do, I would start up again after they went to bed at 7:00 PM for a few hours. By the end of the day, I was able to work a good 7 hours.
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I feel for the parents as well. Not everyone has abundant space and multiple devices and time. Many parents are trying to work their own jobs from home, while homeschooling alongside in the margins. It is just difficult. I love your suggested way of managing the time. My children were terrible nappers, so that I always felt behind the eight ball when they were little. I think each family needs to find its own rhythm, and then extend grace to themselves during the inevitable “down” moments.
I read an article that social media is both a cause and a way of relieving FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). We see all the amazing things other people are doing with their families during quarantine. We feel FOMO. Then we post something about our family to relieve the FOMO…and that causes someone else to feel FOMO. It’s an exhausting cycle.
It’s okay to be not okay, right?
Melissa Gratias recently posted…When you have all the time in the world but no motivation to do anything…
I completely agree with this. It is an exhaustive cycle, because we only share when things are going “well.” It’s like the perpetual holiday greeting card, with the perfect picture on the front and the letter detailing all the year’s successes on the inside. At the same time, it is hard to walk away right now because we have fewer alternatives for connecting. All in all, I hope everyone will just take a deep breath and take it moment by moment. There will be “up” times, so when we feel low, just keep going!
That’s a good point, Melissa. I don’t have kids at home, but I see people baking, doing crafts, having virtual dinners with family, etc., and sometimes I think I’m not trying hard enough, or I’m not “making the most” of this situation. I suspect it’s because my virtual business is up and running and I’m pretty much a homebody anyway, so other than stress about the virus, it’s pretty much life as usual for me. And that makes me feel guilty.
I also think most people are only posting the good stuff, because who wants to whine in a public forum?
I think looking around at anytime can make us feel inadequate and/or guilty. As you say, most people only post the good things, so it is never a fair comparison. How wonderful that you can continue to work from your basement office, earn an income, and support professionals. That is terrific! This is a nice time to be an introvert, and that isn’t always the case, right? Any way we can find to move positively through this crisis is the right way!
I feel like I’m handling it with the ups and downs for sure, but not thinking other people are handling better than me or worse. Like my sister is doing major crafts with her kids, but they’re super young and need that. Mine don’t mind letting me pregnancy nap and freak out a bit.
Such strange times.
I’m so thankful for social media right now, in general!
I think you are “right on” with each of us doing what our particular situation requires. There was a time when I would have been crafting away with little girls, but now my girls are far away, and they need me to send them stuff and check in a lot. It’s terrific if we can enjoy the positives and connection that social media provides, without letting it doubt ourselves or the way we are facing the situation!
I’ve spoken to all my friends. I think it can be hardest for people who live alone and don’t have another human right there to interact with, in person. This is quite a time of uncertainty, which can be frightening. I think we just have to do the best we can.
At times like this I think of the serenity prayer. It helps.
By the way, I love “Polly Tries.” So cute!!!
So timely. Just get on facebook and that’s all I see. Mom’s shaming and sharing too much. It’s always dramatic, either positive or negative, but nothing in the middle.
That’s a great observation, Janet. We often see both extremes. Most of us are just moving between good and rough moments, multiple times a day! Sometimes we just need to walk away from social media and be content with our best effort.
Yes, we’re all doing our best! This comic really shows how we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others (ever), but especially during this crisis.
Exactly, Nancy. This problem is not new, but perhaps with our extra time at home and online, it feels worse. If it isn’t helping, tune it out!
So nice to see Polly! Lately, I’ve been a mixture of both Polly and her friend and I’m okay with that. Gotta let go of this pandemic guilt and do what I need to do to feel safe, calm and comfortable to get through this!
I think we are all having moments when things feel good, okay, and pretty crummy. That is just normal! Nobody is doing “great” every moment, right? One day at a time, prioritizing what matters to each of us individually for our sanity and well-being.
My daughter could totally relate to this, being home with two young children. I just want this whole thing to be OVER.
So do I, Marcia. It’s been pretty incredible, and so difficult to figure out how to think ahead. Impossible to plan, even the fun stuff. Thinking of your daughter juggling the kids being home. The Moms have been real heroes through all of this!