What Are You NOT Missing?

Most of us are keenly aware of what we are missing during this time of crisis. In a variety of ways, life has gotten harder, and for some, life has been forever changed. At the same time, it can be helpful during stressful moments to find ways to think positively. I found myself wondering what, if anything, might actually be going well at this crazy time. In this vein, I sent out some feelers to contacts of mine of all ages and stages. I was so encouraged to hear people’s responses that I wanted to share them with you.

What are you NOT missing under the COVID-19 restrictions?

Meetings, meetings, meetings and pressure to “go and do”

Doing! My! Hair!

People standing next to my desk and talking while I am trying to write

TSA (Transportation Security Administration)

Sleeping in hotels, and having to fill up the gas tank in my rental car so they don’t charge me $80 for one gallon of gas

Social pressure, meaning that I have a good reason to say no if I don’t feel like going somewhere

Eating lunch at my desk

Getting home from a long day at work and still having to cook and exercise

Having to carve out time to clean the apartment…now I am cleaning as I go!

The alarm clock going off in the dark

Being separated from my family for extended periods of time

I-95

Having to find time to do laundry. Now I can do my laundry while in class!

Driving kids to all their activities. Between school drop offs, pick-ups, and activities, I felt like I lived in my car and at the YMCA. It’s been so nice to just be home.

Sibling rivalry. My kids actually seem happier, are playing more together, and are fighting less (I think)

The lack of stress from not having to deal with “activity logistics.” I am really enjoying the feeling that our days can go the way they need to for our family. My house is cleaner now and the biggest planning I have to do is meals. 

Being the one person in the house doing everything. Now that the kids are not completely exhausted, they are setting the table and even learning how to clear not only their own dishes but now learning to take Mommy and Daddy’s too.

Rushing! And requiring my 5 year old to rush. It is so pleasant not to feel stressed as she goes on endless tangents while we get dressed in the morning.

Not chauffeuring kids around to/from schools and activities. No rushing to get out the door. We get more family meal times together and more time with dad. 

Not rushing out the door and feeling like I’m forcing my kids to go places they don’t want to go.

I am not missing the stupid thoughts! Now my thoughts are based on real concerns.

Living by my calendar. My stomach is now my main time keeper. Very dangerous.

I have no more excuses for delaying 1) getting some order to my filing “system” and 2) tackling my photo problem (staggering amount of photos that are of no use because of the sheer volume and lack of organization). 

Not missing:

  1. Having small children

  2. NYC, the air, the noise, the crowds

  3. Travel!

  4. Commuting 3.5 hours/day

  5. Having to wear work clothes

Having no time to myself. Now I am enjoying longer daily walks, practicing piano, trying to teach myself mahjong, and writing notes to people.

Filling out my expense report.

 ***

This COVID-19 journey is challenging. Each day we are being required to try new things and surrender familiar patterns.  It will be interesting to see what, if any, long-term implications this time will have for how we go about our daily lives.

In the meantime, I wish for you good health, patience, and moments of joy! Is there anything that you have NOT been missing during the past few weeks?

24 thoughts on “What Are You NOT Missing?”

    1. Helps to try and remember that there is this positive upside to this difficult time. Stay healthy down there, Ellen! I think we are peaking before you are, so watch us to know what’s coming!

    1. A huge blessing, indeed, to have family around you. Of course, sometimes that can mean we all need to extend a bit of extra grace, but we are lucky if we are not alone, right? Stay healthy Janine!

  1. What a strange and transformative time. I am NOT missing the busier pace. I am enjoying more walks, an even quieter environment, spending more time with my husband, and connecting with family and friends in ways I never did before. I miss being in physical contact with friends, family, clients, and colleagues, but we’ve found new ways to connect.

    I loved reading all the responses from your survey. It’s fascinating to see what people AREN’T missing. I wonder how many of those realizations will translate into ongoing change once the pandemic ends.

    1. That is what I wonder as well. I keep telling all my young Mom friends that I bet their children will remember this as the best time in their lives! Little ones don’t carry the same anxiety we do, so they are probably just amazed to have everyone together and not be dashing around so much. It will surely be interesting to see what the long-term impact on our lifestyle will be. I’m hopeful there will be many positives:)

  2. I’m not missing early morning meetings. I am loving my relaxed mornings – walking my dogs in the daylight and easing into my day. I’m planning to keep this change if at all possible. Having moved here (Atlanta) from Connecticut, I can really appreciate not missing I-95!

    1. Where were you in CT, Diane? I didn’t realize you lived here. I think everyone down here in Fairfield county would agree that they are not missing I95! Of course, Atlanta has some pretty busy highways as well, I think. I suppose fewer people on the roads is one of the few blessings for the faithful truck drivers out there!

  3. Such a great way to look at things right now. I’m not missing Nashville traffic – at. all. Although it gave me a chance to listen to podcasts, it is (under normal circumstances) so unpredictable that I never knew if I was going to finish one, be interrupted, or stopped in the middle. I may even try to shift more virtual whenever we pull out of all of this!

    1. I think commuting and traffic are definitely common themes, as is the idea of having a more relaxed pace. I’m not missing the early morning alarm clock, that is for sure!

  4. I love these comments. I do find that I don’t miss being alone. Having our college-age kids around has been wonderful. While they are working on their classes and homework, we have managed to eat dinners together each night. It’s lovely. During this uncertain time, it seems that everyone has the time to step back and truly enjoy their home and close family.
    Sabrina Quairoli recently posted…How to Practice Self Care when Working from HomeMy Profile

    1. That is lucky indeed to have your children home, Sabrina. My youngest is in grad school, and had to return for a variety of reasons. So, she is far away from and alone. I’m feeling thankful for Facetime!

  5. SOS… This homeschooling business is NOT my cup of tea! Send help, Seana! B is lucky he’s still alive! I miss school and routines very much. But your question was what are we NOT missing. So to reframe, I’m not missing packing his lunchbox and I’m not missing his school anxiety. (Though that’s been replaced with illness anxiety. “Mom, check my forehead, I think I have a fever. Do I feel warm to you? Am I going to die if I get sick? You look hot, do you have a fever?”)
    That’s all I got right now…

    1. Oh man, Sarah. You have your hands full. I know a lot of mommies who are really struggling to get through each day.The lack of routine is especially challenging for any kids with special needs. Plus, you hate having to move into the role of teacher when what you want to be is Mom! I hear you on the health anxiety. I call it “Coronachondria,” and a lot of us are having it. His anxiety is looking for a place to thrive, and if it can’t thrive over school, I guess it is moving elsewhere. I have someone close to me with a lot of anxiety, and her anxiety is trying to find a new place to land as well. Hang in there – this too shall pass! (If you feel fried, we can FT!)

  6. Good question. I think that I had already set aside March and April to rest because of my pregnancy so I’m doing.. what I would have been doing. And I don’t miss showing up for things I feel a little queasy/tired during.
    I also don’t miss spending lots of money shopping!

    1. I have someone else who talked to me about all the money she is saving right now because she isn’t going out. That is definitely an upside! So glad you can rest without guilt:) Take care of yourself Momma!!

    1. I’m still getting the robocalls – how did you do that? I agree on the temptations in the cashier aisle. Those “impulse buys” just aren’t a problem at the moment… as long as I stay away from the online temptations!

  7. This is so cool. I’m wondering how long it took everyone to answer the question?
    For me it’s so clear. First, I just love being where I am. I love not having a full plate all the time and that I can just stay put. I haven’t worn make up or fussed with my hair. That feels good too. One more thing, I don’t miss looking in the mirror and saying to myself that I really have to exercise. I’m exercising several times a day to videos and it’s actually a lot of fun!
    Thank you for this!

    1. To be honest, the answers came in pretty quickly. Seems like most people could easily identify some aspect of life that has been going well during this time. I would say a slower pace, less “putting on,” and less daily hassle were common themes. It makes me wonder how life will be changed, even after this is all behind us.

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